Talking Whys [Part Two]

So there I was, very large suitcase in hand and back on my parents’ doorstep. It felt GOOD to be home. I spent the first week moping about, feeling sorry for myself and reading novel after novel in an attempt to keep my mind from wandering to depressing thoughts.

I was going through the professional equivalent of a bad breakup. I felt I had done nothing wrong—I’d been the perfect “girlfriend” really—and I was still sent packing. It’s the worse kind of ending when you feel you’ve been doing everything right only to find out you were doing something or maybe everything wrong and yet you’re never told what that wrong was.

It wasn’t as if I LOVED the job either. In fact, I hated it. It was too contrived, too fake, completely uninspiring. And that’s the worst of it. Think about this—you’re dating someone and you see all this fault in him, but you keep wishing it would turn around because of one or two things you actually like about the guy, then BAM: he breaks up with you. You reach out for an explanation, but he decides not to answer your calls or texts. You feel crushed and rejected—unlovable. But really… YOU didn’t like him anyway. YOU didn’t have to be the person who feels like a jerk for ending things. YOU are only upset because someone you didn’t think too highly of in the first place, didn’t think too highly of you either. It was truly a blessing in disguise.

So after that first week of moping about, I realized all of what I just said was true and got bored of staying in doors and being a vampire [I simply have to stay busy to keep sane]. When someone like me takes a vacation, it just means a vacation from the norm so I started applying for internships and found one the second day of applying. I interned for a film production and distribution center as an assistant and found the work thoroughly therapeutic. I started missing working with creative things and decided to delve back into the film world once I got back to NY. The question was when was I going back to NY.

And once again, life distracts. Off to the gym with one of my favorites, the beautiful & ballin’ Ashley. She’s going back to school tomorrow and her presence in the house will be sorely missed.

Part Three mañana. Bye for now, my little chickadees & chickodoos.

2 thoughts on “Talking Whys [Part Two]

  1. I felt the same way you did. It was also a blessing in disguise for me when I left AC. You will do great. Don’t forget us when you’re famous :)

  2. Thanks G. Stop making my head bigger than it is, haha. I don’t know about the famous bit, but I do know that where ever I find myself it’ll be at the top. :)

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