As a newly single female, one thing I have come to realize about being unattached and personable is that it is quite a difficult task to be ‘just friends’ with the male species. Being defined as ‘unavailable’ for the last six years of my life has always allowed me to be close to men without the worry of ‘leading a guy on’ or ‘giving him the wrong idea’. Simply put, all of the men in my life knew that there was zero chance of anything going beyond a friendship level since it was apparent that I was in a committed relationship and did not believe in being disloyal to the person I was in love with.
Now that I’m single, however, it seems to me that all I have to do is smile at a guy and he immediately thinks I want to hold hands and cuddle. It’s not that I don’t enjoy being single―I do, really―but I do miss the way in which I could hang out in a room full of guys without worrying about one of them (or more than one of them) trying to find some time to be alone with me so that he can ‘make his move’. I guess what I really miss is being ‘just one of the guys’. I miss being able to go to a friend’s place to watch cheesy movies, eat pizza and drink beer without worrying about him reading too much into the situation. Although it seems to me that I’m still the tomboy who loves playing video games and watching sci-fi shows like Firefly and Battlestar Gallactica, it doesn’t seem to deter men’s interest. Even some friends that have known me from years back are now trying to date me.
I think what’s most frustrating for me is that I’m not really used to (nor have I ever really liked) a lot of attention on myself. To be quite honest, I don’t really know what they see in me. I’m an average looking girl, who’s kind of nerdy and is really bad at geography. I just don’t get it.
And honestly, while it’s fun and flattering sometimes to have a lot of male attention, it does get old rather quickly. It’s tiring to have to say, ‘Can’t we just be friends?’